am 12. Mai feiern wir Muttertag und ich habe es gestern richtig genossen. Ich war mit meiner Familie, mein Sohn hat sich sehr gefreut, mir Freude zu machen und ich fand es so schön, was er in den letzten Wochen alles gebastelt und gelernt hat. Gleichzeitig merkte ich, dass einige Menschen diesen Tag sehr wohl kritisch sehen und das ist auch in Ordnung für mich. Lange habe ich gegrübelt und mir sind nicht die richtigen Worte eingefallen.
Elisabeth Gilbert hat es für mich ausgesprochen und aufgeschrieben. Hier habe ich ihre E-Mail zitiert und kann jedes Wort unterschreiben. Unten habe ich einen Link eingefügt, wo du auch die Briefe von der Autorin von „Eat Pray Love“ abonnieren kannst.
„Dear Love, what would you have me know about mothers?
Darling bean. Your poor, spinning brain would like to think that this is a complicated question for you, and will be a complicated question for everyone. Emotionally loaded and psychologically complex, potentially upsetting for any number of reasons, just basically deeply, intensely upstirring. (Do you like that word, “upstirring”? We just made it up. As in: “that which stirs things up.”)
And you, too, little bean, could very well get all stirred up about this topic of mothers — but sit still and be quiet with us for a moment, for we would rather settle you down than stir you up.
So here is our very simple answer for you, and we will keep it clear and clean, to make sure you really understand. And please remember: this is our guidance to YOU. Others will hear different messages because they are having different experiences in Earth School. But you, our Lizzy, have asked us directly for guidance, and now we will offer it, tailored for your Lizzy mind.
We believe that you will do best in life, precious child, and that you will be your happiest and most compassionate, if you do not think of your mother as your mother, but rather as a fellow human being having her own soul’s journey here in Earth School.
In other words, we would like you to think of her as someone who is exactly the same as you. Someone who is on an adventure of the spirit. Someone who came to this planet armed with certain talents and lacking in others. Someone who came here to face certain challenges in order to evolve. Someone who was dropped as a newborn infant into a family that was already in the midst of a quite dramatic performance of karma: a dramatic performance that had started long before — many generations before — she was born. Someone who needed to quickly learn how to learn her lines and join the play. Someone who needed to learn how to survive and adapt, dodging risk at every turn. Someone who was often overwhelmed by not knowing what to do. Someone who worked her ass off to survive the game of life without ever knowing exactly what was going on in this game, or what the rules of the game are, or why the game even exists.
Someone, in other words, exactly like you, Lizzy. And exactly like other human beings.
We suggest that you don’t think of your mother as a mother, not because she didn’t work hard to birth you and raise you — for she did work very hard, and for that she deserves all merit — but because we have noticed that when people start perceiving other people as their “mothers,” they suddenly have a lot of feelings, judgments, issues, opinions, pains, and complaints about that person.
“Mother” is not so much a title as an impossible aspiration — a lofty pedestal which nobody can ever seem to get right, and which often leads to the person on the pedestal being toppled in disgrace for having failed in this way or in that way. The moment someone becomes a mother, the expectations for her perfection become impossibly high, and the possibilities for her condemnation also become high. The whole world watches. The whole world judges. Sometimes the whole world delivers up shame.
You have never experienced this judgment in your own skin, for you decided not to become a mother in this lifetime — and be grateful for that, darling, for you are very lucky not to have been forced to do a job you never wanted to do. Many women were not as fortunate as to have been given that choice, and their road has been harder than yours.
So be grateful that you don’t have to be a mother, but also be humble. Be humble about the impossibility of the word “mother” and how severely judged they can be, those who wear that title. And how profoundly weird it is that one soul on the journey of Earth School is given so much responsibility for provisioning another soul on a journey — when in fact, they are just two souls on a journey.
People want mothers to be everything, sweet bean. You have wanted your mother to be everything. You have felt sad and angry at times when you couldn’t feel that your mother was everything. But she is not a god, dear heart. She is not a myth, not an icon. She is just your fellow traveler, on her own soul’s journey.
Be a good friend to the mothers of the world, Lizzy — wherever you can. These women are your traveling companions on the journey of life, whether they are older or younger than you. Be neutral, be kind, be curious. Help them and serve them wherever you can. And please don’t put it upon yourself to decide whether any of the mothers of the world — your own included — are doing a good job or a bad job.
Just walk with them, shoulder to shoulder, eye to eye, heart to heart.
All of you, equally innocent in your own soul’s dilemmas.
That’s all we want to say to you today.
That, and, of course, we love you — and we always have. I mean: We didn’t send you down to Earth School without enough love to keep you safe through your adventure, after all. Come to us again and again, whenever you need anything. We, the spirit of unconditional love, are your source for any and all needs you could ever have. Turn to us. Not to another human being on their own journey, dear heart. To us. Again and again. To Love itself. We are yours. We have all you have ever needed, right here, right now. We do. We do it. We do it.
***
In meinem Blog dreht sich alles um Frauen, die ihren Weg gehen. Die Themen sind so vielfältig, wie das Leben: Vereinbarkeit von Familie und Karriere, Selbstständigkeit und berufliche Herausforderungen der Frauen, die sich nicht zwischen Kinder und Karriere entscheiden möchten, Hochsensibilität und leben mit besonderen Kindern. Dazu gibt es Einblick in meine Onlinecoaching-Praxis: Case Studies und Selbstcoachingtools, die karriereorientierte Frauen dabei unterstützen, ein glückliches und selbstbestimmtes Leben zu führen.
Vielleicht bist auch du eine von diesen Frauen und magst mein Blog abonnieren? Es geht ganz schnell: E-Mail-Adresse eintragen, absenden, bestätigen und lesen.
Ich freue mich von Herzen über jede neue Leserin. Und deshalb darfst du mein Blog natürlich auch sehr gerne weiterempfehlen!